I know that it's a Beautiful World

I never know who I tell things, or who I don't, but I have a feeling I never wrote about my Sociology Club. Last semester I discovered Sociology and just feel in love with it. It actually makes perfect sense to me, more so then Psychology. The difference, in my own words, is psychology deals with your brain and how your brain is "supposed" to work. Answers differ depending on who is finding the research, so sometimes I don't find it too reliable. Sociology on the other hand, deals with your environment, how you were raised, who you hang around, your attitude towards others and yourself, etc., and how that affects your personality. It just seems like common sense to me. Anyways... I did really well in the class last spring and about half way through the semester the Professor asked if I would be the President of the Sociology Club on campus, this fall being its first year. She said it would be mine, it would be my ideas, it would be my vision, but she just thought I would be great at it. I decided I would make it a community service club, as well as some sociological aspects, because if we better our environment we can better ourselves. So, this semester is our first go around... I have about 35 members now, and a semester full of community service projects I want us to accomplish. It sounds like a dream come true, but of course there are certain kinks that have to be sifted out every once in awhile. You cant expect everyone who signs up to do something to actually do it, so I guess this is also a life lesson for me; learning that people don't necessarily like helping others all the time. Regardless, its been a lot more work then I thought. Days full of emails to people with the strangest questions, many phone calls to organizations to get our name in there to help out, and time spent getting sponsors because of course we are in a budget crisis (never mind the fact that the other day me and my mom were picking up my brother and they had a brand new bus, brand new!). Anyways.. I dont know what I thought it would be like, and as much as some things have been bugging me lately, it is incredible to be in a position that can actually do some good. No, our little club will not be able to change Orange County, but we can sure try. I planned a big service project for each month and for the month of we are making Halloween bags for the children at a local home called Orangewood, otherwise known as social services. Being a rather determined person, I asked my mom how many bags she thought our club could do, she said 50, I said 200. So far we are pulling it off, with the help of the community of course. My wonderful grandparents agreed to getting the little ones teddy bears, seeing as candy isn't something they can have. For the older ones we are doing bags with lots of candy, cookies donated from Sweet Life, and maybe some glow in the dark necklaces or something. I think it will be a great success, and I am so happy to be able to help these children. There are times where I want to scream at the fact that no one is really helping, and along with school and work and doing hair.. but then I just think about how much this will mean to them. Its just candy, little goodie bags, something so simple.. but yet, they have nothing. I want to go there on Halloween and see their faces, but then again I don't know if I could handle it. I'm a wreck right now and I'm talking to a computer screen, not their sweet faces. I just keep seeing the picture of Jesus in my head, when all the little children are around him. God loves the little children. I'm so grateful to live in a beautiful home, and to be able to learn.. I'm grateful for my family and being blessed to grow up in the church. Its such a beautiful world, and no matter what people say, I will always always believe that. Some call it naive, I call it hope. 

Life Begins

I love when weeks begin and they hold so much promise. It is nice when there isnt a lot going on, but then again I love having plans to look forward to. ABC calls this week "National Stay at Home Week" and I couldnt agree more. I love having my shows back on! No, I am not glued to my television, but it is nice to have a little drama to tune into. So the countdown begins : 3 more days until the world is brighter! GREYS ANATOMY! My mom and I marked it on the calendar just to ensure that we wont have anything else going on. We plan to be in PJ's early, a little something sweet in hand, and our eyes will be glued for the 2 hour premier. So dont call our house! Dont even think about bothering us-because we've been waiting for centuries for our friends to return!

Culture

Culture. I've been thinking a lot about culture. I guess it could be because I have to do a speech on something that represents my culture, and maybe also because we are analyzing American culture in another class. It's just been running through my mind a little, Cultural Norms in particular. A cultural norm... When I first learned what this was, I didn't think it to be that significant, but the more things I add into its category, they more worried I become. Imagine your face if someone whipped out nail clippers and started clipping their nails on the street. It wouldn't be ok because that is just not what we do. Or, imagine your face when you saw a guy holding a purse in the local shopping center. It wouldn't be ok, because that is just not what we do. Imagine your face if someone started singing out loud as they shopped for their groceries, or if in an elevator someone just sat down... these aren't things people do, and if they did, our reactions towards them would make it so they never did it again. These are cultural norms..."normal" (whatever that means) actions within a certain culture. I thought this meant things within the list I just mentioned, you know, silly things that may not harm anyone, but that are socially unacceptable. I never thought to include a major portion of our culture. I never thought to include the word skinny, or a popular brand of jean, or the latest hairstyles. I never thought those things defined us, but guess what, they do. The Skinny society is what we should be called, the society pushing for looks and yet puts no regard to character; probably not even knowing what character really is. I watched a documentary on this in my class yesterday. Marketing, media, sales... If you analyze what they are telling us you would be surprised. We had to look through advertisements and try to get "their message". All I can say is porn. I'm sorry, but its true. I have never seen so many pornographic messages in my life; subliminal messages telling us that skin and "sexiness" means looking like them. We always talked about this in church meetings, but looking at it from a perspective of how it causes social problems...You would be amazed. Take a look at your magazine ads the next chance you get and see what they are telling you about women. They tell you that vulnerability is sexy, that women tied up or beaten or sexually abused.. they tell you that that is sexy, while having you look at the beautiful dress she is wearing. Never mind the fact that she has blood coming out of her mouth and is lying on the floor. In recent studies it shows that girls between the ages of 10-12 fear getting fat when they are older, and girls between the ages 13-15 say they feel better when they are on a diet. I was more concerned with barbies at that age! There was also a study done on a little town in the middle of the amazon, where women relished in their curves and beauty. They didn't care what they ate, they had confidence in who they were and loved themselves. They didn't have media of any kind. A couple scientists went in and gave them televisions and magazines.. within a month there were eating disorders and talk of suicide. I could go on and on about different cases and just personal experience from how its sucked me in, but I have heard complaints about my long entries. I just know that our culture tells us that skinny is the new thing, that having those rock hard abs, being extremely masculine.. these are all things that are "ok"; these are our cultural norms. So, do you sit back and agree? Do you look at the man holding a purse and wonder whats wrong with him? Do you look at the skinny ones and wish to be just like them? Do you see the man with all the muscles and "power" and think that defines masculinity? Or do you wake up thankful that you even have a body? Do you wake up thankful that you have such a powerful mind that gets to think for itself? Do you let yourself define your culture, or do you let your culture define you?

Behavioral Therapy

To a Friend in Need, You know who you are:

Behavioral Therapy. A common man lets his thoughts dictate his behaviors. If you think you don't like the toast you are eating, then you stop eating the toast. If you think about how you don't like reading the book you are reading, then you will put it down. Behavioral therapy is letting your behaviors dictate your thoughts. That same piece of toast, you keep eating it until you like it. That same book, you keep reading until you cannot put it down. Feelings can be decided, actions can be decided... Our behaviors can be taught. If you do not enjoy an area of your life, then you do all the motions that would show someone on the outside that you enjoy it. Then you do, not the first time, but eventually you do start to enjoy it. We should all enjoy life. We should all sift through those thoughts and be more mindful of the behaviors that they produce. Sure, change is a hard road to go on. Yes, some times you cannot see the shimmer that it produces along the way, but that doesn't mean you give up. That doesn't mean that you stop trying. So keep at it, not because you want to, but because you know you should. Soon enough, those behaviors and thoughts become one, and only then can you be happy. There is a quote that comes to mind when thinking about our previous conversation... "A constant struggle, a ceaseless battle to bring success from inhospitable surroundings, is the price of all great achievements." He never said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it. So decide what it will be today, will you quit or will you stay? But whichever you decide, make that the one. You cannot go back, you cannot switch your answer, just make that the one. You stay, or you go. Whichever you decide, make those behaviors match and your thoughts will follow. Stop doubting yourself, you know you are capable.

Love, Me.

Thoughts.

I think. A lot. It tends to even drive me crazy. But then there are time, like today, where I hit those moments of clarity. At those moments, all that crazy analyzing of nothingness makes sense. I guess you could say that I am grateful in those moments for my thoughts. Today was an examination of self. I wish I could say I am the type of person to do this often, but in actuality it was a professor who started it all. In discussion we talked about the true definition of self, what we see ourselves as verses what others see us as. We talked about the relation between our interpretation of others reaction to us, and how that would affect our self concept. Then we talked about relationship styles, romantic relationship styles, and how those were formed at birth through our mothers attachment to us. I walked away from this therapy session with way too much to think about, all I knew was that this semester would be a discovery. I will be weaving into parts of my heart that I have closed up for quite awhile, tending to the bruises and cuts that I have acquired over the years but never payed much attention to. I know I will be grateful, I know it will be painful, but to embrace all the catastrophes is to embrace life. If I cannot embrace the pitfalls, then how can I embrace the joy? Yes, this should be interesting.